[961tat]

I bought my mum a pocket calculator shaped like a castle. She might not like it, but it’s the fort that counts.

[ReubenVP]

What do you do when your nose go on strike?

You picket.

[ReubenVP]

Does anyone know a cure for excessive ear wax?

If you do, please give me a shout...

[961tat]

I did an online quiz about marriage today. I answered every question with, “The wife.” Failed it. Turns out she’s not always right.

[961tat]

The most fascinating thing about women’s football is how did they get 10 women to wear the same outfit?

[ReubenVP]

I'm trying to organise a hide and seek competition.....

But good players are hard to find.

[961tat]

The kids kept ringing my doorbell, so I took the batteries out. It’s had a knock-on effect.

[ReubenVP]

What do you call an aeroplane full of bald people?


Receding airlines!

[Stan Thomas]

A little lad came home from school and said "Daddy, today the science teacher told us all about prisms" - to which his father replied "Your big brother would have done that .......................... when he comes out".

[ReubenVP]

It's our annual general meeting at the Constipation Club tonight.

Sadly I can't go.